My First Post

Hi,
First of all ..... I'm really new at this. So bear with me as I slowly learn to use this site.

My name is Todd. I'm 40 years old and live in Charlotte, North Carolina. Six months ago I would have never imagined I would be creating something like this. But life has a way of throwing curve balls at you when you least expect them.

This past January, my wife .... my soulmate ... the love of my life ..... left me after an up down three year marriage. Even up to the very end, I didn't think she would go through with it. I spent a month just in a state of total shock and disbelief. Then the guilt started.

I had been led to believe, by my wife, that my problems and shortcomings were the main reason for her deciding to end the marriage. I spent the following months beating myself up every day over my inability to save the marriage.

Now it is almost five months later, and I'm beginning to put pieces of the puzzle together. That, and the fact that several mutual friends of ours have come to me with information, has led me to suspect that the reason she left had nothing to do with my end after all. She simply got tired of me and wanted to upgrade. She found another man, fell in love with him and that was the end of that.

Since I found this out, it's like I've been sledgehammered in the guts. Nothing makes sense to me anymore. Everything I thought and believed has been turned upside down. Including the way I feel about her. I've never been more confused and frustrated in my life. If not for an unbelievably supportive family, and a network of the best friends in the world, I think I would have given up by now. My family and friends have literally kept my head above water through the whole mess. Not to mention quite a few online friends, new and old, who have offered much wisdom and advice.

Much of what I will write here in the coming days will be about this topic. I'm sorry if it's depressing. But I have to get what's swirling around in my head out in the open. Or it will drive me insane.

I look forward to hearing from readers and especially other souls like myself who have gone through the fire and come out on the other side.

Peace
todd