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Hot, hot, damn it's hot .... did I mention it's hot??

Ok, Ok ... I realize I'm whining .... but damn it's hot!

Funny how the older I get the less I can stand the heat.

I pulled in the driveway from work this afternoon, around 3:45p, and my neighbor was loading up his boat for a fishing excursion up on Mountain Island Lake.

"Grab your gear, dude, Skip's coming too," he yelled at me as I was getting out of the car.

Wow it hurt to have to say no. But I baked in the heat and humidity of the Hangar for 8 hours today and just couldn't see spending another four hours or so baking in the heat and sun up on the lake.

Not today.

Plus I've got a smasher of a headache! Probably from the heat!

Or maybe from listening to The Jelly Jam 2 at maximum volume in my living room while unloading the dishwasher!??!!?

Not today.

I hate that when it applies to fishing!!!

Damn heat!

My First Comments!!!

Yeah!!!

I got my first ever comments to a post today!!!

It's a post from last year, but hey ... I'm still psyched that someone is reading this!!!

Click here to read the post and comments .....

cool!!!

And thanks for caring!! Whoever you are!!!!

=)

Dawg-Daze of Summer

Anyone else feel like the dog-days of summer are already settling in over the Charlotte area?

Usually it's closer to the first of August before that vague sense of "damn I'm tired of summer" sets in and you start counting the days til fall.

Somehow it seems we've fallen into a bad weather pattern. A week or two of blistering hot temps and smothering humidity which leaves you laying around in the air conditioning too wrung-out to do anything productive. Then a few days of non-stop rain, fog and dreariness which leave you holed up in the house watching tv and surfing on the computer because it's too wet out to get any yardwork done or go do anything fun.

Maybe it's just me.

I just know it aint helping my funk lately.

Damn I've been in a state lately. Not really sure why. Could be lots of things ... lots of reasons. Job ... Tori ... neighbors ... family ... pets ... hell, lately just about everything stresses me out.

The weather becomes a factor. Hell, it might be a major contributor! Laying around the house bored can give anyone the "yips" ...

Oh well ..... just writing about it helps ... maybe this week it will cool off a little (it's supposed to) and I can play "dodge the thunderstorms" and get an afternoon of fishing in somewhere.

Now that would be good for my soul!!!!!!!

She's Gone Away

Apologies to Ty Tabor and King's X for the title ...

Got an email from Tori yesterday. She is leaving today to go see her family in Iowa for a couple of weeks. Stacia is already there. She left last weekend. Her Dad bought her a plane ticket and off she went. Tori, on the other hand, is driving up with Stacia's boyfriend, Josh.

Mixed feelings invade my thoughts again.

On the one hand, I remember so fondly all the trips we made to Iowa to see her family. At first we simply jumped on a plane in Charlotte, flew to Kansas City, and then on to Cedar Rapids. Then Satan Airways .......er .... US Airways ..... pulled service out of Cedar Rapids so we started flying to Chicago and renting a car to drive over to Cedar Rapids.

We always had fun on those trips. Even the long drive from Chicago across the Mississippi River to Iowa. We were a family and we made the best of every situatiion.

I miss those trips.

I miss her family.

And part of me will miss her just knowing she is out of state .....

On the other hand ...... another part of me will feel lighter and breathe a sigh of relief because she is gone for a while. No accidental encounters at the grocery store, no phone calls, no "sightings" while out driving around.

Peace.

For a little while.

She's Gone Away.

I don't know if it's a good thing or bad .....

I got da blues today ..................

"Old feelings die hard."

It's an old saying ... an old adage really. But it's oh so true. Sometimes those old feelings just hang on and hang on and just when you least expect it, they sneak up on you and surprise you with their power.

Tori and Stacia rescued a little puppy last week that had appeared in their front yard during a thunderstorm. So they brought the little fellow in, cleaned him up, fed him and went about the task of finding him a new home.

Naturally they called me.

I have one dog ... which is more than enough for me. Believe me. But being the nice guy (ie: sucker) that I am, I agreed to do some legwork and try to help them adopt out the poor little guy.

None of this would mean anything, really, except that all the activity involved with this little stray dog has meant that my ex and I have had numerous phone conversations in the last week.

More than I would like.

If she calls me once every few weeks and we chat for a few minutes and hang up, it's no big deal. I can go on my merry way and go about my business as if she doesn't matter to me at all.

But when that one phone call turns into two or three or more .... then it all starts back up again.

All the old feelings.

All the old yearnings.

All the old hurts.

And they don't go away again quick enough.

I swear I haven't heard a sad song in weeks until Tori called me last week. Ok ... maybe I just haven't been noticing the sad songs on the radio. Or the love songs, for that matter. But this past week I have been afraid to turn on the radio in the car because all I hear are love songs and heartbreak songs .... and at a gas station Saturday I actually heard that song for the first time in a long, long, time .... "Amazed" by Lonestar. Our wedding song. The one which still lumps my throat and drags the tears up out of the corners of my eyes to this day.

It's embarrassing when you're standing there trying to pump gas at a crowded PetroExpress and the p.a. system is blaring your wedding song and you're misting up behind your sunglasses and trying to keep your shit together.

Sigh.

A year and a half later I still miss my wife.

Sometimes I think I'll miss my wife for the rest of my life.

In some small way.

...
...
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I miss my wife.

I got da blues today ................