Hugs are nice

My wife, Tori, called me today. I was out and about with my neighbor .. we were going fishing. (Do you see a secondary theme to this blog already forming? Maybe I should have called it "Fishing with Todd" LOL) So she called and asked if there was any mail for her at the house. I told her there was so she said she'd swing by the house later to pick it up.
Amazing how just that little statement got my emotions to stirring and my heart fluttering. I'm still in that stage ... I want to see her and be around her ... and I don't want to see her and be around her. I wish she'd come to her senses, ask for forgiveness and come back home .... and I wish she'd get out of my life forever. It's like a war going on in my head. I wonder sometimes if it's God testing me .... to see exactly where my heart lies in the whole matter.
So later this afternoon, I'm mowing the grass and she pulls up. That little red car that torments me from my window at work (see earlier post). My step-daughter, Stacia, is with her. I haven't seen her in over a month. They're both all smiles and in good moods. Which is good, because the last time the wife came over she was in a bad mood and didn't say much. Just got a few things and left.
We walked around the yard looking at the flowers. Discussing how things were growing and changing. She walked over next door to say hi to a neighbor. I got to spend a few quality minutes with my step-daughter. I miss her so much too. She's tall and beautiful. 16 years old getting ready to turn 17. The best years of her life. She has a great boyfriend who I'd be proud to call my son. She has the whole world at her feet. And I hope and pray with all my heart that she never feels the pain I'm going through. We chatted for a few minutes about school and her part-time job. Her smile was infectious. Like a big, bright sun shining in my front yard!! I wanted to tell her, "Go talk some sense into your mother." But I don't need to. I know she feels the same way. I know she didn't want to leave and misses our house and the yard and her rock garden she sculpted out back one stone at a time.
The wife comes back from the neighgor's and we go inside for a minute. She and Stacia play with my cats and we chat for a while. Then it's time for them to leave. Way too soon. 20 minutes of heaven in my house. 20 minutes I wish could keep on going. Like it used to.
I walk them to their car. Last time Tori was here, she left in a hurry. Today .. they linger .. more small talk by the car. I'm hot and sweaty from mowing, but Stacia wants to give me a hug. I do the ol' polite little "friendly" hug .. but she squeezes me tight and says "See ya later." The ol' lump in the throat starts forming. I turn to go inside and Tori comes over. Puts her arms out. At first I don't want to. But I can't help it. We hug. I whisper in her ear, "You look really nice." She blushes just slightly and smiles. It's the first hug between us in months. We used to hug all the time. Hugs are amazing things. They are good for the soul. They make you feel loved. Whether it's between a husband and wife, a parent and child, or just between two good friends sharing good time together.
So I got two hugs today. Two very special hugs. I don't know how this will impact my emotions later ... but for now my soul feels lifted.
I've been thinking and praying an awfully lot lately about forgiveness. Forgiveness heals us and catapults us forward to a new beginning.
I'm working on it. I'm really working on it. It's hard. It's real hard. And it won't happen overnight.
But hugs help.
Hugs help alot.
Especially two very special hugs from two very special people.